On the Outside, I am Dr. Pennie Murray…
an accomplished corporate executive trainer and speaker, with a list of pretty impressive achievements. I fulfilled a childhood dream by serving as a law enforcement officer, owned a retail business and recognized as niche marketer for several years. I was a radio talk show host on a major radio station; I have written an award winning book, and have earned a doctorate in Industrial/Organizational Psychology.
Sounds impressive, right? Well, Yes and No!
Yes, in that I have accomplished the goals I set for myself, but NO in that much of what I did was to make up for how I always felt on the inside… not “good enough” – a peon, and all the other negative labels I accepted of myself.
For a large portion of my life, this internal self-deprivation always spoke louder to me and with more force than any of my positive achievements. In fact, I couldn’t achieve enough titles, or educate myself enough to break free from it!
In retrospect, I was always on an insatiable quest to gain approval and significance through external means, in order to fit the standards of others.
Consciously I always knew I was here on purpose for purpose.
Every professional goal I went after, I accomplished. But my level of success would always reach a certain level and then stall. Whenever things went wrong, I blamed, made excuses, or put on another “victim” badge. Inside, I knew there was a bigger purpose for my life than the one I had settled for. And, maybe it was this “knowing” that caused the constant inner-conflict I experienced. In other words, I knew there was a path I was meant to travel, and it wasn’t the one I was on. So I was always in an emotional tug-of-war with my intended purpose, and my learned inhibitions.
I have spent thousands of dollars attending classes and conferences attempting to move beyond the internal fears and doubts that kept me from moving beyond the shallow experiences of success. But little if anything changed. I was stuck in a maze of wrong turns, a dead-ends, and desperate exits. This cycle went on for years until I started asking myself and the Universe some really serious questions.
“As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal somebody else.” ~ Maya Angelou
My desperate desire to understand my own struggles with fear and self-doubt has driven my 16-year quest to decipher my willingness to stay loyal to mediocrity. Now, I’m sharing what I’ve learned with others through my work with the Power of Self-Permission.
If you’re tired of experiencing meager levels of success; if you’re fed up of letting fear manipulate your quality of life; if you’ve had enough of the constant noise of self-doubt; if you realize that you’ve spent most of your life trying to fit in, prove yourself, or gain the love and acceptance of others, then we need to talk.
Please browse the site to find out more; I guarantee you’ll realize, as I did, Giving Myself Permission is more than a book title – it’s a lifestyle.
May You Have the Experience of “KNOWING” Your Path,
Certifications & Affiliations